A couple in their early fifties are visiting New York as tourists. They get lost and end up in the Bronx.
Despite needing to spend a penny, the wife refuses to use the public conveniences in an area in which she feels unsafe. Eventually she succumbs to the golden bladder syndrome, and she decides to risk using a public loo.
However, she insists that her husband stand 'on guard' at the entrance to the ladies in case anything untoward should happen.
Despite feeling that his wife is being a little paranoid, he reluctantly waits for her at the entrance.
After a few minutes, a scantily dressed young lady, who has noticed the husband's awkward vigil at the entrance to the ladies', approaches.
'You looking for something special honey?' she asks.
'Just waiting for somebody,' the man replies.
'That's what they all say,' she replies. 'But them that stand around trying not to seem as uncomfortable as they look eventually find the guts to ask for what they want sooner or later,' she offered. 'So if you're a first timer, and you're a little nervous, why don't you just save us both a lotta time and say so now cause I'm on the clock here if you get my meaning.'
For a moment, the man considered explaining why he was lurking at the entrance to the ladies' loo. But he realised that it would probably sound a little lame and that this would only encourage this lady of the night to persist with her solicitation.
He was also desperate to put an end to this discussion before his wife emerged and found him in what might appear a compromising position which would in turn lead to an inevitable series of questions from his wife aimed at establishing what it was that he had obviously done to cause a busy professional to conclude that he was, as it were, in the market for her services.
'How much?' he inquired, as he hurriedly concocted a way to bring all of this to a swift end.
'For you, two hundred and fifty dollars,' she said, while giving him a bored I told you so look.
'Sorry,' the man replied immediately, and he faked a disappointed look. 'I only have twenty dollars on me.'
Much to his relief, this produced the desired result instantly.
'Forget it honey,' she declared and stormed off down the busy sidewalk in a huff.
His wife emerged from ladies' a minute later, fortunately none the wiser.
After receiving directions which required that they head in the same direction in which the prostitute had walked, he decided that it would be best to cross to the other side of the street.
It was easier for him to find an excuse to cross the street than to risk running into her again. God forbid that the prostitute might see that as a heaven sent opportunity to further berate him for stooping to waste her valuable time with such an insulting sum of money.
If that occurred, there would be no way to prevent his wife from believing that perhaps the real reason why they were apparently lost in this seedy part of the city was to enable him to scout for prostitutes behind her back, with a view to returning later that night to partake of their services after she had fallen asleep.
The relief he felt as he spotted a familiar looking street, where their hotel was located, evaporated in an instant when he felt someone behind him tapping him on his shoulder. Both of them turned around, and you guessed it, his worst fears had come true.
It was the prostitute who took a moment to glare at him with an expression of sheer contempt before she eventually spoke.
"See what ya get for twenty dollars," she explained, shaking her head. ***
See Also: FIFA clears itself in independent investigation? Will Egypt now host Winter Olympics? Also another link to JOKES
http://siegfriedwalther.blogspot.com/2014/11/egypts-bid-to-host-ioc-winter-olympics.html
Mother in Law.... & others
http://siegfriedwalther.blogspot.com/2014/11/mother-in-law-joke-and-courtroom-skit.html
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