Passenger delays 747

Flight Attendant: Excuse me Captain, but he's just having a last whiskey on that ship. He says he won't be another 30 minutes."

 

Captain: "That's what he said an hour ago, and yet here we are, no closer to take-off. Who does he think he is? The bloody President?"

+FlightsimulatorX
+Flitesim

+boeing 747

+Flitesim

Coldplay's Ghost Stories. #Coldplay #Ghost stories #Review

On 19 May 2014 Coldplay releases their latest album, Ghost Stories.

Three songs have already been released. Magic, Midnight (Superb track already reviewed on this blog)  & A sky full of stars.

http://siegfriedwalther.blogspot.com/2014/05/midnight-from-coldplays-forthcoming.html

Magic, the first single, is a pleasant enough track but I'm not certain its one that has the legs to stand the test of time.

The third single, a Sky full of Stars, on the other hand, is on par with the standards we have come to expect from Coldplay.

Having heard a preview of the whole album on iTunes, it is evident that Coldplay have once again changed direction. It's a more instrumental, atmospheric and introspective album.

Fans who fear that this album is not representative of their usual stadium conquering sound will be in for a surprise. At first the tracks may not jump out at one, but be sure that Coldplay have lost none of their song writing skills, nor have the band lost their ability to mesmerise one with superb musicianship, to say nothing of Chris Martin's silky soaring vocals.

Unlike the last two albums, which each had three standout tracks but, in my view, little else, this is a welcome return to the Coldplay albums of old, which can be played from one end to the other.

It may take a little longer to get you hooked, but when you do get hooked, it will be an orgasm in the ear!!

#Coldplay #iTunes #Ghost Stories #Review
#Chris Martin

Lesotho's Minister of the Navy

#JOKE

The white minority government of South Africa was subjected to political isolation due to its policy of apartheid. Few countries had formal diplomatic relations with South Africa. As a result, foreign visits by South African ministers or heads of state were the exception rather than the rule.

Due its being completely landlocked by South Africa, the tiny kingdom of Lesotho was hardly in a position to ignore its powerful neighbour, despite the political differences between the two countries.

During an official state visit to Lesotho, the South African foreign minister, Mr Pik Botha, was introduced to various cabinet Ministers of the host country, including the Minister of the Navy for Lesotho.

Given Lesotho's geography as a completely landlocked country, Mr Botha apparently found the cabinet position to be somewhat perplexing.

Although he was dying to enquire about why such a cabinet post was considered necessary, he realised that the simple act of posing such a question might be viewed as an insult. The last thing he wanted was to be considered as the cause of a diplomatic incident. He decided to shelve the question for the time being.

Prior to his return to South Africa, Mr Botha was invited to a lavish state dinner in his honour during which both he and Lesotho's Interior Minister found themselves getting along very well indeed.

Fortified by this new friendship, and by the alcohol he had consumed, Mr Botha decided that the moment had come to satisfy his curiosity about kingdom's curious ministerial post.

"Minister, I do not wish to be seen to be disrespectful or impolite, but I cannot help wondering why your country has a Minister of the Navy when it has no sea?"

To Mr Botha's relief, the question did not appear to have offended his host in the least. Instead his question produced a wide smile.

"Foreign Minister, I cannot tell you how happy it makes me that you have seen it fit to pose such a question to me. Because I too, have a question I have been dying to ask you, but have been too afraid that it might be considered indelicate."

"And what question might that be?" asked Pik Botha.

"For years I, and all of my cabinet colleagues as well, have been wondering why South Africa has a Minister of Justice?"

Air Crash SA 252. A high alitude eBook by Siegfied Walther

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/388676  Also available internationally at #iTunes #Kobo
stores around the world

SEE LINK TO CHAPTER ONE BELOW:

Can the Flight Sim Pilot save the 747?
Why must BA 059 land safely in order for the truth about Air Crash: SA 252 to be revealed.
Why do the Air Crash investigation reports from the NTSB (USA) and NAB (SA) differ?
...

Is the South African Minister correct to say that the NTSB is putting the blame on ASA pilots to protect Boeing? Or is there a cover up?
Will Bella Omondi, whose husband died when Flight SA 252 crashed into Gugulethu, find an attorney to take on her case (including the loss of support for her three children) against Air South Africa and possibly the government?


Link to Chapter One below.

See more

Siegfried Walther @SG_Walther: Can Flight Sim pilot save 747?

#Aviation Analyst #Political Commentator #Author #Advocate #DJ Wide ranging...

siegfriedwalther.blogspot.com

An in-flight announcement inquiring whether a pilot happens to be on board is one which most passengers hope never to hear. Yet, this is what occurs on a British Airways 747 flight from London to Cape Town.

One of the passengers on board is attorney Eric Gates. His hobby involves flying airliners on his computer using a popular flight simulation programme. Eric had always dreamed of having a chance to fly a real airliner. Yet now, when faced with just such a possibility, he regrets having procrastinated about taking time off work to treat himself to flying lessons.

When South African Air Traffic Control learns that an airliner en route to Cape Town may be under the control of a passenger without any pilot’s licence, they decline permission to land at Cape Town International. Their decision is partly motivated by the fact that the 747’s auto pilot and auto land systems have reportedly been damaged.

The decision is also partly attributable to the fallout from the recent and as yet unexplained demise of SA Flight 252, an Air South Africa Boeing 777 airliner which crashed into a Cape Town suburb, killing all on board and hundreds of others.

All this transpires amidst media speculation that an air crash investigation report relating about the cause of Flight SA 252 has been delayed due to disputes between the US NTSB and South Africa’s National Aviation Board.

When the 747 fails to react to ATC instructions to divert to a smaller military airfield, two jet fighters are dispatched to intercept the airliner. Will the South Africans make good on their threats to fire upon the non-compliant airliner?

Unbeknown to everyone, the 747 holds a key to solving the mystery of Flight 252 and its survival is imperative.

Smashwords – Air Crash SA 252 – a book by Siegfried Walther

smashwords.com

 

#aviationfiction   #aviationbooks  +aircrashinvestagion +aircrashinvestagion  #NTSB   #legalfiction   #courtroom #courtdrama   #legalcounsel  Read more (23 lines)Show less

The NY prostitute and the tourist

A couple in their early fifties are visiting New York as tourists. They get lost and end up in the Bronx.
Despite needing to spend a penny, the wife refuses to use the public conveniences in an area in which she feels unsafe. Eventually she succumbs to the golden bladder syndrome, and she decides to risk using a public loo.

However, she insists that her husband stand 'on guard' at the entrance to the ladies in case anything untoward should happen.
Despite feeling that his wife is being a little paranoid, he reluctantly waits for her at the entrance.

After a few minutes, a scantily dressed young lady, who has noticed the husband's awkward vigil at the entrance to the ladies', approaches.

'You looking for something special honey?' she asks.

'Just waiting for somebody,' the man replies.

'That's what they all say,' she replies. 'But them that stand around trying not to seem as uncomfortable as they look eventually find the guts to ask for what they want sooner or later,' she offered. 'So if you're a first timer, and you're a little nervous, why don't you just save us both a lotta time and say so now cause I'm on the clock here if you get my meaning.'

For a moment, the man considered explaining why he was lurking at the entrance to the ladies' loo. But he realised that it would probably sound a little lame and that this would only encourage this lady of the night to persist with her solicitation.

He was also desperate to put an end to this discussion before his wife emerged and found him in what might appear a compromising position which would in turn lead to an inevitable series of questions from his wife aimed at establishing what it was that he had obviously done to cause a busy professional to conclude that he was, as it were, in the market for her services.

'How much?' he inquired, as he hurriedly concocted a way to bring all of this to a swift end.

'For you, two hundred and fifty dollars,' she said, while giving him a bored I told you so look.

'Sorry,' the man replied immediately, and he faked a disappointed look. 'I only have twenty dollars on me.'

Much to his relief, this produced the desired result instantly.

'Forget it honey,' she declared and stormed off down the busy sidewalk in a huff.
 
His wife emerged from ladies' a minute later, fortunately none the wiser.

After receiving directions which required that they head in the same direction in which the prostitute had walked, he decided that it would be best to cross to the other side of the street.

It was easier for him to find an excuse to cross the street than to risk running into her again. God forbid that the prostitute might see that as a heaven sent opportunity to further berate him for stooping to waste her valuable time with such an insulting sum of money.

If that occurred, there would be no way to prevent his wife from believing that perhaps the real reason why they were apparently lost in this seedy part of the city was to enable him to scout for prostitutes behind her back, with a view to returning later that night to partake of their services after she had fallen asleep.

The relief he felt as he spotted a familiar looking street, where their hotel was located, evaporated in an instant when he felt someone behind him tapping him on his shoulder. Both of them turned around, and you guessed it, his worst fears had come true.

It was the prostitute who took a moment to glare at him with an expression of sheer contempt before she eventually spoke.

"See what ya get for twenty dollars," she explained, shaking her head. ***
See Also: FIFA clears itself in independent investigation? Will Egypt now host Winter Olympics? Also another link to JOKES
http://siegfriedwalther.blogspot.com/2014/11/egypts-bid-to-host-ioc-winter-olympics.html
Mother in Law.... & others
http://siegfriedwalther.blogspot.com/2014/11/mother-in-law-joke-and-courtroom-skit.html

Midnight from Coldplay's forthcoming album is a sonic mindblast!

In the darkness, before the dawn...
In the swirling of the storm
When I'm rolling with the punches and hope is gone
Leave a light, a light on...

Millions of miles from home...
In the swirling, swimming on
When I'm rolling with the thunder
but bleed from thorns
Leave a light, a light on......
Leave a light, a light on....

Midnight by Coldplay (out now!)

GHOST STORIES 19 MAY 2014

 

It's been a while since I have listened to a new song over and over again like I often did when I was younger. I've enjoyed Coldplay's forays into different sound experiences, but nothing they have done before has elicited such a sense of excitement in me about a new & forthcoming album for a long long time.

 

The track features haunting synth / vocoder infused lyrics which sound a little 80-s retro & futuristic all at the same time. Then there's a brief dance type interlude before the synth vocals return for a final blast. If the band opened a Concert with this song, I would go bonkers.

As it stands there's a video on ITunes using a portion of this song as teaser. I want that album and I want it now. Patience may be a virgin, but I am not! The link to the teaser follows below. Watch it. You should be transported.....

about a minute ago

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FSEvcKT9zLw

Coldplay : Ghost Stories - TV Special extended trailer

Extended trailer for the ground-breaking prime-time TV special...

 

Blue Light escorts for servants? Whose the boss?

On the 20th anniversary of democracy in South Africa, we find ourselves solicited by those who seek office to serve us. And this is done with as much humility as the candidates can muster. After election to office, however, all this humility vanishes in dramatic fashion right in front of our eyes. It is a phenomenon worthy of inclusion in one of David Copperfield's magic shows.

On the day the Gupta wedding party landed at that air force base they were apparently met by police or traffic police and it appears that the entire party were given an ‘unauthorised’ blue light escort to the wedding venue at Sun City.  The fact that local motorists were necessarily required to wait patiently for so-called VIPs to pass is an outrage, not to mention an inexcusable abuse of power.
One can only wonder about how many other unauthorised, yet well-connected persons also receive the courtesy of these unofficial escorts.  These entourages whizz past so rapidly that it is impossible for anyone to establish the identity of the persons concerned.

Sadly, recent history reveals that the official blue light brigades in South Africa also operate in a manner which violates the rights of ordinary citizens. I need only mention the incident when a provincial Minister’s blue light brigade, allegedly travelling at high speed, collided with and severely injured a young teenager on his motorbike.  Of course, one cannot ignore the many incidents where the police escorting such brigades allegedly threatened (and worse) road users who, in the escorts’ infinite wisdom, had failed to give way smartly enough.

One need only Google “blue lights” & “South Africa” to find a host of further tales involving such abuse or similar excesses. Many of these incidents have one thing in common. The taxpayer is called upon to fork up.

Even in the absence of the above, there are two cogent reasons why Blue Light brigades are indefensible.

Firstly, it bears reminding that the recipients of this privilege are not VIP’s, nor are they our masters. They are elected public servants. How easily we forget that it is the voters, who place them in office, who are the masters. Why should any public servants be permitted preference on the roads over those who elected them?

It is only at election time that our politicians display anything close to the humility which is required of a servant. Politicians are in dire need of reminder of their place. Blue light brigades only serve to over-inflate their vast sense of self-importance.

Secondly, nothing any politician, including the president, does is so important that it cannot wait or cannot be delayed by a few hours. It is possibly only in times of war that this might not hold true. For the rest, if the meeting or fixture is important enough, the politicians, like the rest of us, should plan ahead to ensure their arrival in good time. Blue light brigades only serve to encourage poor planning and tardiness on the part of the beneficiaries of this privilege.

In the case of a genuine emergency, such as a natural disaster, no-one could object to the use of helicopters or presidential jets if the president, or any other politician, genuinely needed to move speedily in order to establish the needs of any victims concerned.

Of course, I fully accept that certain politicians, including the President, Premiers and all Ministers should be entitled to a security entourage.  However, I do not accept that any of them, including the President, should be entitled to preference on the roads ahead of the real VIP’s in this country, the voters.

A final reason for ensuring that politicians receive no preference on the roads is that it is only by ensuring that they experience the inconvenience of traffic jams for themselves that they might be encouraged to do something about the problem.